It's better to have love and lost...
by Sakura Endo
Summary: Cedric is dead, but comes back for a night to tell Harry something. Harry/Cedric slash


This is the same story as "Ghost -message of Cedric-" I just changed the title, because nobody seems to read it. Perhaps it also just my writing.  
  
It's very short, sad and sappy and it's Harry/Cedric slash. I know the plot is rather.. odd, but the idea just popped up in my head one day and I thought, why not. If written it down in merely a hour and it's not betaed, so don't mind the mistakes.  
  
The title is a line from one of Tennysons' poems. It's from the book 'In Memoriam'.  
  
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot.  
  
Warning: The story contains a homosexual relationship (kissing) between to teenage boys(one of them dead) so if it's offend you, don't read it!  
  
  
  
It's better to have love and lost...  
  
Harry drifted slowly into awakening, his sleep disturbed by an strange feeling of misty coldness on his skin. As he opened his eyes it was all he could do not to scream as he saw a translucent, foggy- white cloud hovering over his bed. Hastily he grabbed for his glasses on the bedside- table, slamming them onto his nose.  
  
The cloud focused, contours staring to get clear, and than he looked into a pair of eyes, very familiar eyes, eyes he saw in his dreams so often, broken and unfocused, the eyes of a body, but now they doesn't look broken. More the contrary, they glittered vividly, only that they were a little paler and more transparent than they used to be, glittering like silver moonlight. He gasped, obviously shocked to see the eyes of his dreams in reality.  
  
"Cedric! What.."  
  
'That can't be, he's dead, why is he here.'  
  
Harry's sleepy and confused mind still struggled with the new information, unable to take in the fact that Cedric was back, as ghost, but back.  
  
Cedric leaves his place at the ceiling above Harry's bed and sat at his side on the bed.  
  
"Harry, listen to me, I don't have time.", he whispered urgently, to not disturb the other boys in the dorm, still sleeping peaceful.  
  
"Look, Cedric, I'm sorry what happened, really. I never wanted you to die, I was a little jealous, yes, but I didn't wanted that. You have to believe me."  
  
Harry started to sob, as all the bottled up feelings, the nightmares and guiltiness fought their way out at the sight of the pale, colourless form of the ghostboy, who had been once so full of live and energy.  
  
"Harry, it's okay. I'm not here to take revenge. I never blamed you.", Cedric answered calmly, reassuringly stroking his cheek.  
  
Harry shivered as he feeled the oddly clam and cold touch of the ghost.  
  
The older boy withdraw his hand, shooting Harry a apologising glance.  
  
"Sorry, I forgot that it must be unpleased to be touched by a ghost."  
  
The black- haired boy just shock his head, taking Cedrics hand in his and laid it back on his cheek. "Don't worry. The feeling is not unpleased, only different."  
  
Cedric smiled fondly at the small boy.  
  
"I want you to know I'm really sorry that you like that now. It' s all because of me, but I'm happy you're not angry at me." Harry blushed a little and looked down, hopping Cedric wouldn't see it in the darkness.  
  
But he lifted Harry's head so that he had to look into his eyes. "Listen to me Harry.", he said intensely, emphasising every word. "It's. Not. Your. Fault. You couldn't know of Voldemorts plan, you only were friendly and very fair to me and there is nothing wrong about it."  
  
Suddenly his eyes narrowed suspiciously as an idea entered his mind. "People didn't blame you for my dead, did they?"  
  
"Harry shook his head. "Nobody did. Your parents even thanked me for...", a dry sob interrupted his sentence as he recalled the memories of that one afternoon.  
  
"Bringing my body back?" Cedric asked.  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"I'm, too, grateful that you fulfilled my last wish. You take great risk with that. I never expected it to be so dangerous for you. I hadn't asked you when I had thought it would bring you into danger."  
  
As Harry set on to speak, the other boy interrupted him. "Enough of that, it won't bring us anywhere."  
  
The younger boy nodded and his expressing grow happier. "Tell me why your here. Are you now forever a ghost. What did you mean, you have no time?"  
  
"I can't stay here, I only have one night. I was allowed one wish. And that was one last night with you."  
  
Harry's eyes went wide, surpriesed but obvious touched by Cedrics words.  
  
"Why me?", he whispered, looking up into those beautiful grey eye which haven't lost all there colour and nothing of there expressiveness. "Why not your parents, or your girlfriend?"  
  
"Girlf...Do you mean Cho?", the boy looked surprised but then realisation dawned him. "Harry, I've never been together with her. She was like a sister to me."  
  
Harry gazed unbelieving at the boy. "But Cho had told me you two were a pair."  
  
"Well, you see, she always thought we would be more, but I never ever loved her like that. I wanted to tell her, but then..."  
  
Cedric looked unbelievable sad, and Harry stroked throw his transparent black hair and over his cheek. While it feel cold his skin doesn't feeled unreal or foggy at all. The boy leaned into his touch and sight contantly.  
  
"I wanted to see you, because I love you."  
  
Harry made a choked sound and Cedric continued,  
  
"I didn't tell you because I knew you had a crush on Cho and we were kinda rivales and all, but now that I'm dead I want you to know, wanted to see you a last time, tell you I haven't hard feelings because of everything what happened. Because I know you good enough to know you would probably be eaten up with self- reproaches."  
  
But Harry shaked his head and tears steamed down his face. But before Cedric could say something to calm him down, Harry had flung himself in Cedrics arms and clamped his mouth over that of the older boy.  
  
Cedric was surprised but ecstatic at the same time. Harrys heat mingled with Cedrics cold to a tornado of feelings dragging them along into it's merciless swirl. Cedric gave in to the kiss, unexpected, but pleased nevertheless, clinching desperately to the living boy, unwilling to ever let go, knowing they hadn't much time left.  
  
Harry broke to kiss to breath, his joyful heartbeat fast under Cedrics hands, lying on his chest, happiness and grief all the same for the older boy.  
  
"I love you, too." Harry whispered, tears still steaming down his face, his expression as much happy as sad. "I'm sorry I didn't told you earlier."  
  
"Don't be. I'm happy that you love me at all. You made all my wishes come true at least." Cedric stroked his cheeks, trying to whip the tears away, but his hand only glided throw the tearstreakes.  
  
"I have to go soon, Harry." Cedric slid his arms around Harrys body, leaning in for a last kiss. As there mouth touched, he slide his tongue over Harry's lips, prying them open to feel the heat, the live in the boy, to remember all the taste and feeling and texture of the boy he loved so much, and Harry mimicked his motions, claimed his mouth as much as Cedric his, filled with wonder as the taste, the smell, the touch so real, so unghostly.  
  
But then Cedrics touch started to went lighter, fuzzy and as Harry opened the eyes he saw that Cedric got paler, more transparent ever minute and I tried to told on the boy, but he couldn't even touch him anymore.  
  
"I love you. Thank you." Whispered the boy as he disappeared, and Harry broke down on his bed, sobbing violently in his pillow, mourning about the second lost of the boy he loved.  
  
But this time he hadn't to regret anything. No more 'what if 's, and he know the pain would eventually go away, not at the instant, but in time and now he would be able to go on with his life.  
  
End  
  
  
  
And? What do you think. I told you it's odd, and sappy. I'm actually not sure if that's good or not, so let me know if you liked it. I'm thinking about writing a sequel with a bit (or rather much) more lemon in it if I get some positive reviews.  
  
Oh, about Cedrics status, I know you can't touch ghost, I imagined him more like a mixture between ghost and zombie, like a ghost the can materialises a real body or something. 


End file.
